girlfriend is a homo

Straight girl crushes of the week: Blake Lively + Leighton Meester

Seriously. Thank god Gossip Girl came back on this week. It’s sort of hard to function like a normal person without seeing these two on the regular. Here’s just a taste of their Rolling Stone photoshoot. (What that has to do with music, we have no idea. But who cares?)

straight first lady crush of the week: michelle obama

We know what you were thinking, lesbians. When Barack Obama was running for prez, you had more than politics on your minds: Yes, that man needs to be president and we need to see far more of his really hot wife.

Michelle Obama is obviously a total fox, and her amazing arms that keep popping up on magazine covers have us all wanting more. Some lame people (and lame newspapers) are criticizing the first lady for her fashion choices, but they just can’t handle a woman who can (and does) do (and wear) what she wants:

The Chicago Tribune reports that “sleevelessness is next to tawdriness in this setting, if you ask some citizens.” Tribune reader Janice Elges of Wheaton asked “Does the lady not understand that these Big Speech Events are serious and important? Not a cocktail party?”

Ms. Elges needs to get a life and stop being so jealous of the first lady’s hot arms.

Ok, enough out of me. Michelle speaks for herself:

Oh, and unofficial poll: If you were able to have your way with any first lady in history (living or dead) who would be taking you back to the White House? Michelle gets our vote, sorry Jackie.

Straight, hot, Oscar crushes of the weekend

Oh, hi Kate! Hi Freida! You are both insanely talented and completely gorge. We can’t wait to see you win some little gold men tomorrow.

Also, Kate, we are fully supportive of your bare bod in movies. Your nudity will be missed.

Straight Girl Crush of the Week: Kristen Bell

She won our hearts as the brainy, witty and generally amazing Veronica Mars, and even though the show ended prematurely, our love for Kristen Bell did not.

Bell is hilarious and always manages to steal the show from whichever cast of geeky boys she does movies with. In Fanboys, which came out in the U.S. this week, Bell plays the only lady among a group of Star Wars fans attempting to steal a copy of the movie before it comes out. Sounds cute. Then again, I don’t care about the plot when it comes to Bell: I’ll pretty much watch anything she does.

“I have the mouth of a sailor,” she told Entertainment Weekly last summer. “I have to remember not to drop F-bombs when I’m ordering my lunch.”

::sigh::

We love a girl with a foul mouth.

Straight girl crush of the week: Kelly Clarkson

Yes, still “straight.” At least, according to a recent interview with PopEater. The ex-Idol/total gaydar-pinger told the celebrity blog:

…I wish I liked women like that because oftentimes men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys. I could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I’m a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man. I don’t really care if you’re black, white, yellow, gay, straight, crazy, whatever. As long as you’re cool and you like the music, and you’re coming out to have a good time at the shows, I don’t really care.

Ugh, say it ain’t so, Kelly. Or, did she? She said she didn’t care if someone was gay. So that means we do have a shot if we like her music? Great! At least we can still hope. Check out Kelly’s new video for “My Life Would Suck Without You.” (Which sounds totally lesbian, if you ask me.)